by Jeff Caouette
Coming from a large family, I am the youngest of eight children. My mom was from Saddle Lake First Nation in Alberta. Her first husband died fairly young from a heart attack, after which she moved to Edmonton where she met and married my dad. Edmonton is where I was born and have lived pretty well all of my life.
So I came from my mom’s second marriage and Steinhauer is my family’s name, which is somewhat of a prominent name around Saddle Lake. Back in history there was a Reverend Henry Bird Steinhauer, a First Nations minister of the Gospel who had been adopted by a German family in Ontario, and moved out to Alberta in the 1800s.
I don’t know much about my father’s side of the family. He had problems with alcohol and he and my mom divorced when I was a child. So I was pretty much raised by my mom who was a single parent. She was in search of something better in her own life, and we kids followed her.
I first heard the Gospel when I was about 10 or 11 years old. My mom started attending a church in Edmonton called Native Christian Fellowship and she took us along to Sunday school. That’s where I first learned about Jesus and the Bible.
There Wasn’t a Lot of Stability
Apparently my mom had been sitting outside one day, and a couple of ladies who she’d known came walking down the street. My mom asked them where they were going and they said, “We’re going to Bible study.” My mom didn’t know what that was, but these ladies said, “Why don’t you come along?” That’s how my mom first heard the Gospel. That was back in the 1980s.
Our large family of eight children grew up mostly on welfare, and there wasn’t a lot of stability in our living situation. We moved a lot, and most of us kids spent some time in a foster home. We all came back together to live as a family, but there was still a lot of moving around to different places in Edmonton.
Growing up in a large family, there’s a lot of fun, but I also witnessed some sad and painful things among my siblings and extended family. About the time I became a teenager I felt like I was left alone a lot to raise myself.
I began making bad choices and there wasn’t a lot of accountability for me. I started experimenting with drugs, and nobody really noticed what was going on with me. In terms of food and shelter I was fine, but I certainly didn’t have the close attention of a father, or even my mom at times.
I smoked weed and gradually began to use different kinds of drugs, and more often. Then I got into drinking. I quit school when I was about 15 or 16, and I began to work. For the first time in life I had money and the ability to buy things, and it went mostly for drugs and alcohol.
I Thought That’s Just the Way it is
There was inner pain and suffering, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I had seen my brothers and sisters using drugs and alcohol so I thought that’s just the way it is.
There had been opportunities for me to do some positive things. The First Nations school I had attended had a theatre program. I did some acting and I was pretty good at it, and people noticed my talent. I even earned a scholarship to attend a summer drama camp. I tried out for parts in a couple of movies, and I did some government commercials.
For awhile I did have a dream of becoming an actor and even getting famous, but I only pursued it for a short time. Having a job and earning money was more important to me. I look back on that now and see that it was really drugs and alcohol that took me away from those pursuits.
I bought my first car when I was 16 or 17. I liked the freedom it gave me, and I liked working on it. I’d never had anyone to teach me how to fix a car, but at the gas station where I worked I watched the mechanics and thought I would like to do that. So in my mid-twenties I went back to school because I was tired of working menial dead-end jobs.
I Immediately Got Hired
I had thought of pursuing auto mechanics, but then I heard about a program that taught small engine mechanics. I took that course and ended up number one in my class, and I immediately got hired by Sears.
I worked for Sears as a repair technician, fixing lawn tractor and snow blower engines on-site, as well as fitness equipment. I was good at my job, but my personal life continued to deteriorate with drugs and alcohol. The people at Sears became aware of my alcohol consumption, but didn’t know about my drug use.
I would miss work, and my employer tried to get help for me, but I wasn’t willing to accept the help I needed. I got into harder drugs, and I began to steal from my work place, selling parts to feed my addiction.
About the time I turned 30, I took a serious look at what I had become. I was pawning my possessions, even though I was making money. I was a crack addict and a thief. I had tried to stop, but I felt hopeless. By then I was married and had one son. I was a bad father and a bad husband, and a bad son, too.
I Didn’t Like What I Saw
When I looked at myself I didn’t like what I saw. I knew that if I didn’t do something about my alcohol and drug use, I was going to end up dead. I had already seen some of my family members die from drug and alcohol addictions.
My brother, Faran, had given his life to Christ and he gave me a Bible for my 30th birthday. There was a spark of desire inside me for something more than the life I was living. I sought help through programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous. In those programs they talked about turning your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand Him, and I remembered the times when my mom used to bring me to church.
So I began to attend the same church that my mom had connections with. It was a Native church and I felt accepted. I knew there were people there who had gone through similar experiences as me. The second week I was there I prayed with the pastor and gave my life to the Lord.
The pastor, who became a good friend, gave me a Bible and wrote a verse in it that I will never forget. It is John 10:10: “The thief comes to steal and destroy and kill but I come that you may have life and have it abundantly.”
I Began to Feel Good About Myself
My desire to use drugs and alcohol began to leave. I began to feel good about myself as I became an honest person with integrity. Instead of using people, it felt good to start helping other people – people who were going through the same kind of things that I had been through.
It was after about five and-a-half years working at Sears that I gave my life to the Lord. Then, just as the Lord was convicting me of my past dishonesty at work, my employer discovered what I had been doing. I told my boss the truth and began paying back the money for the parts I had stolen. The Sears people tried to find a way to keep me employed, but their national policy is very clear in regards to stealing, so I was fired.
The following year I got myself clean and sober. I went back to school, then in 2004 I started my own business doing work similar to what I had done at Sears. Interestingly, Sears approached me about a contract. I had asked the Lord, “How am I ever going to make this up to Sears?” and the Lord provided a way! My business has developed with contracts to various manufacturers, and now focusses only on fitness equipment.
Those Were Tough Years. I Needed Healing
My wife began attending church with me, but sadly she had no desire to live for the Lord. Eventually, her addictions led her to divorce me. That meant that I would be raising our two sons pretty much on my own. Those were tough years. I needed healing from our marriage break-up, while trying to care for two boys.
It seemed that there were a lot of resources for single moms, but not as many for single fathers. I know that our boys missed having a mother in their life, and they would say that being raised by me wasn’t always that great.
Through it all, I have grown as a person and in my relationship with Christ. I love my kids and would do anything for them. It’s just amazing to know how God the Father looks at me. He loves me unconditionally.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. In spite of that, the Lord has really shown a lot of grace to me. I would love to see my own people come to know Christ, and for them to be changed, and find strength and joy and a sense of fulfilment and completion through Christ.
Adapted from our interviews with Jeff, who has also shared on Tribal Trails TV about his involvement with Native Youth Conference (NYC), an annual gathering that has seen upwards of 300 youth attend. Jeff’s two sons are now young adults.
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